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i try by suzi9mm i try by suzi9mm
where to start... i don't think many people will see this the way i meant it, for the mere reason that not everyone knows the feelings interpreted here. the photo is born from very personal feelings of mine, but i would not have taken this unless i felt that it touches and concerns more people, women mostly, so the "I" in the title shouldn't lead you to thinking this is a self portrait, I is anyone who understands the feeling portrayed...i wanted to make a general statement.

it's about trying. trying to fit in, be what the beauty ideals present us, be what we think is the way to happiness and success. we look at the world and smile but may feel inside that we're never good enough. i'm exaggarating, but u know.

i know the photo is not perfect, i know. but for now i'm almost satisfied.

background info:
`superkev's idea to use silver umbrella straight ahead above the camera was good, it emphasizes the excessive amount of powder on the face. i wanted a straight, clinical, unforgiving lighting. Kev borrowed me his hands, his filled the gloves better than mine, and i held the scalpel and syringe which was good cos i know how much pain i can take from them. timer was used to take the actual photo. i got the original idea maybe a year ago but only now i felt like i knew how it should look as for the angle, positioning of hands and stuff. the teary eyes are the most important detail of the photo because they reflect everything under the surface.

/edit: this deviation has not shown up in everyone's watch so i will keep editing it in hopes that it shows up everywhere. i'm truly sorry for the inconvenience this may cause by showing up in your watch again. //
Add a Comment:
Daspir Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Her eyes and lips are perfect, I think they completley portrayed the societal desperation of feeling the need to fit in that you're trying to portray. The shape of her lip is so interesting too. It looks like her left eye (the eye on our right) is being tugged upward, like she's being pulled and stretched by society's definition of beauty. Love it.
MittleresChaos Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2008
thats just the truth, thats a fav

delusionallll Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2008
wow, this is definatley one of my top favorites. great shot with GREAT meaning!!
Aquarosepetal Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2008
great idea, I love the photo.
shprotesse Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2008
One of the most powerful works I saw in your gall ever.

Great concept
CeliaAlma Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2008
XtwiceXshakenX Featured By Owner May 25, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Great message, great shot.

monatorgersen Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2008  Student Digital Artist
I remember I saw this before I joined dA, and thought "damn, that was such a cool photo", and I loved the concept. So, I browsed your gallery quite often, and your art was partially what got me to join the place :)
iceythecat Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008   Photographer
Ouch! No pain, no good shot, huh? :)
ikach Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2008
][ LOVE (ALL:headbang:
) YOUR WORK !:worship:
maidenofwar Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2008
wow...another amazing peice! :heart: i don't think it's too heavy at all....i think, at times, things need to be heavy in order to reach people, otherwise it remains bland and people ignore it.
a very powerful image in my oppinion.

do you mind if i use this in a school project, in the form of an artcard with a your deviantart page printed on, ofcourse....and perhaps a quote from you, a short one, depicting art and its role in society? the idea behind the project is art aiding charity, in a bid to unite people under a common cause...and since art is such a powerful tool....
drkxillusion Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2008   Digital Artist
i think you portrayed the concept well.
and it's so true.

great job.
ZERO-COLD-101 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2008
OMG! are these teary eyes?
uptwngrl Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2007   Photographer
You tried and did a very good job, I believe. =) I get what you mean very clearly and I'd like to say well done.
ashx911 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2007
Holy Crap,
this made me wanna cry.
Like.. it's really hella good tho!!!
acjub Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
that was a really good picture. cinda reminds me of the sick world we live in.
your a very good artist!
harmonie0805 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2007
this is a great photo! very creative!
redxinka Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2007
I think this photo rocks! Very creative and it speaks the truth about how beauty standards have skyrocketed.
SassynPunk Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2007   Writer
Trying to fit in is stupid and useless. However is something we all do, isn't it?

totally agree with what you said in the description and the photo is amazing.

An-Unknown-Person Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2007
I was sitting in the hotel suite I'm in now about to go to sleep when I suddenly remembered seeing this about two weeks ago, the week before I left. I just couldn't get it out of my mind, so I'm finally about to stick it in my favourites, which I've done with a few of your works. I don't want to add so many, so I keep them to a small amount. Atleast, try to. But I just felt like that's so common, so many people don't realise it. I didn't notice the teary eyes, and then I read the description and put it in full veiw. They change the image a bit, as if she might be having second thoughts, but she realises she's in too deep to back out now. That aswell is common.
And the powder is highly visible. I don't know if you wanted the lighting to do it or not, but it's a nice touch.
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2007   Photographer
thank yiou for the thoughtful comment, its appreciated :)

ps. i definitely wanted the lighting to underline the powder :)
burlesquebombshell Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2007   Interface Designer
Well this made me want to cry.
BlackenedBlood Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2007
desidarium Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2007
i ddnt think it exagerated ...i know exactly what it feels like to be confronted to a stereotype for beauty and never feel beautiful.... btw not to seem stalker and psychopath cuz ive added half ur work to my favs P i think ur my fav artist on deviant art...ur gr8!!=D=D
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2007   Photographer
well i'm honored to be so liked(or my work to be so liked)

thanks so much for the support.
ixhavexnoxlife Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think I understand this picture without reading your description. With the involved, it shows what this woman is trying to do. She wants to feel better about herself and also wants to feel accepted by society. So when she feels out of place and rejected from society because of her appearance, she turns to drastic measures just to feel beautiful and fit into the world. When there's nothing wrong with her in the first place.
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2007   Photographer
pretty common with women
ixhavexnoxlife Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, that is true. Women tend to feel more self-conscious about their image and so they'll try to go to great lengths to feel pretty, when to others, they look absolutely gorgeous. I just think that some of these are rather gross ways to change how you look.
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2007   Photographer
yup. why do u think women are so self-concious, born that way? what drives women to these perhaps gross acts to change themselves?
ixhavexnoxlife Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think it probably has to do a lot with the peer pressure and desire to fit into the world. With all the ads and fliers and whatnot, it's showing something negative to the world. Showing what they should look like, and the fact that they have those procedures available just means more money for the companies that run them. Women are more sensitive about the way they look and when people look down at them for not having the "in style" look, women are more likely to try to fit in more because they don't want to be left out. But, we're never born that way; because when we're born, we never cared about how we looked until people started making fun of how we looked.
jubbakazoo Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2007  Student
wow, emotional, i know what your gettin at, how women should be what evry1 expects them to be, im doing an art project on what people treasure in modern life (appearence) and i would love to use this photo to draw a piece of my own
would that be ok?
Atenea217 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2007
Well, for me is just perfect.. great shot..
Pinky666 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2007
Ouch!Love it!!!:heart:
RoseRenard Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2007
this is really beautiful. I totally get what you're saying with it, and it's something that's been a big problem for me for years. and I love the clinical feel of it all
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2007   Photographer
f0xxy Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2007
Im sure the people who are meant to understand it.... this really touched me.

xxkeep it up!
Moownique Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007  Professional Artisan Crafter
I think this is a great piece!!! I really like this concept...
Moonlit-Sonnet Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2006
I do smile on the outside, but no I don't feel good enough, sorry fgor saying this, but this made my confess
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2006   Photographer
yea, well you're not a lone out there.
Moonlit-Sonnet Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2006
Thank you... :cling:
lovehatecantdecide Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2006
Beautiful picture. I love the realness to it, you obviously took real pain for true effect. :heart:
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2006   Photographer
glad u like it
dewdadey Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2006
The photo is perfect. Don't change anything.
Your work is truely amazing.
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2006   Photographer
dontflyaway Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2006
you hit the nail on the head. right on the effing head.
skullgrl Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2006
Any chance I could use this for a photomanipulation? Please...
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2006   Photographer
no, sorry
wow this is amazing...

did she get a cut on her eye brow ??:P
savvy-kat Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2006
This is a really compelling and beautiful piece... It makes a very strong social statement about perceptions of beauty. And may I just say, you really are beautiful.
suzi9mm Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2006   Photographer
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Submitted on
October 17, 2004
Image Size
201 KB


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Camera Data

Canon EOS 10D
Shutter Speed
1/125 second
Focal Length
160 mm
ISO Speed
Date Taken
Oct 16, 2004, 12:38:02 AM