Heh, I know you posted this a while ago, and you've pretty much forgotten about it by now, but I just wanted to comment.
First, it lacks any semblance of grammar. Remember these three rules of posting literature: capitalize, punctuate, and proofread. It doesn't take long, you don't have to be an expert writer to do it, and it makes a big difference.
Second, I like how you compare death to riding off on a train. It makes a lot of sense, and it's easy to visualize. Both are key components in metaphor and imagery. However, it seems to me that there really isn't much there to describe anything. You only used one adjective: exhausted. Very black and white, not colorful like a good description should be. And though it may seem contradictory, you can use a colorful description to paint a greyscale image.
Finally, the poem isn't very cohesive. It seems to be held together only by it's short length. If you were to rewrite and expand the idea further, you would definitely need to tie concepts together. Poetry isn't a line. It's a spider web, with each idea branching off of another, all tied together somehow.
The potential for a great poem is there, but it just needs to be refined. If you ever rewrite your poetry, feel free to use my suggestions at your own discretion. I would also be more than willing to help you out, if you so choose.
thank you for the thoughtful feedback. i'm not really getting into poetry though...no worries of that if i should however, i would continue to reserve all rights to the punctuation, capitalization and proofreading.